Adventures in Laurenland

I love

When I’m angry, sad, or upset (usually at you) and you kiss my shoulder. That I feel the safest with your arm around me at night. When you lick my face because you think it’s funny - it’s not, but I love hearing you chuckle. The way you look at me in the morning, because I can tell that you’re happy I’m there. How you know all my tickle spots. Your silly voices that make me laugh. When you kiss my neck. That your nostrils are two different sizes, because I love your weird little flaws. That you hate when I stick my finger in your ear - I really just love your reactions. Your scruffy beard on my fingertips. The bite marks you leave. Imagining a future with you. When we’re driving in the car and you grab my hand. Your skin when you get out of the shower. The way you rub my back when I can’t sleep. Every single one of your freckles. The look in your eyes right before the lights go out. When you tell me I’m beautiful. How focused you get when I see you working, I can practically see all the little wheels turning in your brain. When we’re curled up together on the couch. The feeling I get when you open up to me. Your butt - it’s cute. Running my fingers through your hair. How easy it is to be myself with you. Your pillow when you leave for work, it smells just like you. That even though we’ve both tried to get up and walk away, we just can’t. When you know just what to say to calm me down. Kissing you.

Your voice, though - that’s my favorite. 

This past week has been the toughest week of my life. It’s only going to get easier though, so that’s a good feeling.

However, I know some nights are going to be harder than others. It’s hard to sleep alone when your thoughts are racing and your brain won’t let you stop feeling guilty for something you had to do.

At least Robert is here. And good friends by my side, they make a difference too. Distractions are good, so I’m thankful for work.

But life is so much harder than I ever imagined it to be. I’ve learned.